Survival Gear 101: REAL RESILIENCE

"Whether you think you can, or you can't .... You are right."  

Henry Ford

How you handle setbacks is more important than how you handle success ... and skillfully handling adversity is the secret to success in college and beyond.  So don't worry .... Be Happy!

Don't we all wish it was that easy!  In a world that tends to value the quickest, the brightest the fastest, the first -- finding the "happy face" and "joy" part in this equation is tough!

I believe the best weapon of defense we have to fight this crazed "more is better, faster is the best" mentality that our society is swirling in, is a big dose of REAL RESILIENCE! Bounce-back strategies that allow us to realistically manage our own failures and shortcomings, as this is the key to healthy life balance and successful, positive experiences through high school, into college and beyond! 

Emotions like sadness, rejection, fear and loneliness are normal, healthy and helpful when based on real, authentic life experiences -- No one rushing in to "save us" to make it "all better." No trophy, no blue ribbon, no one diluting our painful experiences with false hopes or shallow compliments. These are real feelings that don't always feel so good!  These raw emotions sting, they burn, and they surface for a reason, and it is our job to sit up, pay attention, and determine how we want to respond.  

If we don't allow ourselves time to feel these unpleasant feelings before rushing back to the world of "being busy" and settling back in to our "happy place," how will we learn how to honestly deal with setbacks and disappointments, sadness and rejection, in a healthy, balanced manner?  

We need the time and attention to grow our sense of resiliency and learn how to genuinely bounce back from life's inevitable obstacles.

Got cut from the baseball team?  Tank on you first AP test? Come up 100 points short on your SAT score? Don't get into your first choice college?  Believe it or not ... this is life's very personal  invitation designed just for you... an invitation for valuable personal growth.  We cannot always control the external circumstances in our world, but we can control how we react to these situations.

6 BOUNCE BACK STRATEGIES:

1)  Set reasonable expectations  Learn to identify the positive aspects of an unexpected outcome -- "When life gives you lemons ..... " Establish a wider, more open window for personal achievement and success.

2)  Accurately evaluate the situation   "Is this really the only college in the world?"  "How does this AP score impact my long term future?" Get real!

3)  Surround yourself with positive, optimistic people  I am firm believer of the saying... "Whatever you go looking for, that is exactly what you will find."  So the search begins today... Look for others who are upbeat, positive and view the world with the glass brimming with opportunity!

4)  Focus on the areas you can control   No sense putting out a lot of effort or stress toward those circumstances you have not control over.  Re-energize your focus around your strengths, special talents, and passions  -- suddenly you have complete control.

5)  Let go of negative feelings or emotions   Resilient people can recognize which events will resolve themselves quickly vs. those twisted ones where you need to rationally talk yourself down off the rooftop.  Once you're safely back on the ground, take a minute to love ALL of yourself -- bumps, bruises and all your imperfections -- Celebrate being human!

6)   Gratitude every day   Be present, pay attention.  Fill each day with the personal mindset that gushes with grace, goodwill, and a deep appreciation of goodness for all that is right with the world.  Positive people easily bounce back from adverse situations and are adept at finding the silver lining in life's shadier moments. 

So sure, try it ... Don't worry....  Be Happy! And do so knowing the origin of your happiness is real, within your control, and 100% genuine!